Clean Plate Club Member T-Shirts

"Leftovers"

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

Mother pours bubble bath into child's plastic pool

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

"They're clean Mum, I washed them yesterday."

In the art gallery

'I don't care if you're wearing them again tomorrow, just put your clothes away!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

Cleaner with nameplate next to Consultant Surgeon's desk.

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

'That's why I like Neederman. He does the little things to help his team that don't show up in the statistics.'

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

"Looks like you've got some competition."

'My mom invented baths!'

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

'Getting other people's toddler's leftovers on a highchair is one thing, but getting their toddler, too, is another.'

'I'm just draining the reservoir.'

'Only peanut butter and jelly fingers, Sir.'

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

Farmed Salmon Restaurant - Everyone squashed together.

Medieval Torture

Billy's clean room.

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

I thought we agreed, this birdbath was our little secret!