Clean Desk Advocate Pillows

"I'm a great believer in keeping a clean desk, chief."

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

In the art gallery

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

Working Vacation.

"I'm sure you do spend all your time here at the office, but could you please stop having your mail delivered here?"

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

In/Out box.

'Maybe you shouldn't eat by your keyboard.'

"My meeting take away was this chair, what did you get?"

Think Big.

'Only peanut butter and jelly fingers, Sir.'

'My mom invented baths!'

'I'm just draining the reservoir.'

The Messy Sink

'I moved the computer and phone off my desk. You wouldn't understand. It's a Feng Shui thing and it has successfully reduced my job related stress.'

Medieval Torture

"Actually the salary isn't important. . . I just need a desk to rest my feet on."

"Ah, I like to see a man immerse himself in his work."

'Well, we were told he has a penchant for micro managing

'Clear your desk. You're fired!'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

"Oh, Larry, you’ve got a tiny piece of kibble ri-i-ight there."

"I asked at reception for the person who runs the school... and they sent me to you!"

Ham Sanitizer

'Don't mind my husband, he just wants to be 65!'

'It's true, I don't like soap, but you don't have to rub my face in it.'

"You can tell he's not a stray. He picks up after himself."

"Ok, ok, I'll use a bloody coaster!"