Clean Clothes Connoisseur Pillows

Clothesline.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Dogs shaving

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

Spring Cleaning

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"I tidied away all the cushions and stuffed toy animals. It appears we never had a bed."

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"Think it can last 20 seconds this time?"

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'Mom, I'm only late because you told me not to come in until I wipe my feet first.'

Mangle

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

"Dr. Green...5 second rule...stat!"

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be underappreciated by your boss?"

'This closet needs digitized.'

Super glue hoovering