Claw Machine Expert Gifts

"He's got steady hands and was the top recruit from Funzone."

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"Nostalgia is one helluva drug."

"C'mon! C'mon! Almost there..."

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Oh! How nice! An espresso machine!'

Elephant with front end loader using tusks.

Claw Machine Head

Alien Arcade

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

Oog is good at sharpening sticks, but he doesn't know when to stop. You can quit now, Oog. You've made your point.

"Did you know that cats can give paw?"

'You do nice work!'

"We ran your credit rating and came up with a negative number."

"Oh, yeah! A little to the right. . . down a bit. . . Ahhh!"

Banana Arcade Game

"Her name is 'Precious', but her nickname is 'why we can't have nice things.'"

Playing an arcade machine

'We don't own a shredder. We just hang sensitive material on the furniture and let the cat take care of it.'

Woman coaxing husband into mowing lawn by dangling a bottle of beer in front of him.

"Isn't that cute? She bought herself a little stool to sit on and watch us shred her chairs!"

"And thus the hunters become the hunted."

Claw Machine

'Not being able to blink used to be a problem.'

"I should've known if we told him we were going to have him declawed he'd go out with a bang."

On Stephen Harper's answering machine..Michaelle calls.

'Funny how talking to an automated voice system makes YOU sound like the robot.'

An oxymoron: Cat optimist

"No guilt! This is the price they areed tp pay for a shot at our mercurial affections."

The latest construction safety device: air bags on jack hammers.

'We need to get him a scratching post.'

'Why didn't you get a company car like everyone else?'