Classroom Decoration Pillows

'I want you to sit up front right by my desk. It's not because I want to keep an eye on you. It's a feng shui thing.'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

'Is there any chance at all I could get you to stop leaving your pantyhouse laying around?!'

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

Board Game Hunter

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

'Don't look at me!'

Litter Tray Stonehenge

Toys

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

A gift to complete the man cave.

Rocking Horse

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

The Move.

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

'This is my natural habitat.'