Classroom Conductor Gifts

"I've been controlling student behavior with a series of facial grimaces and contortions. Now I need a facial massage every week."

Start of the school year

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

Orchestra.

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

Sir Edward Elgar

'I didn't do the problem because you didn't say 'please.''

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'

Education Guidance

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

'The math is more complex this year and some of you won't be able to just tap out your answers anymore.'

Teacher's pet dog

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

Fricka arrives.

The History Teacher

Young Stephen King

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'I don't know whether these are good grades or not. The teacher calls them unique.'

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'