Classical Chip Crunchers Gifts

Sonata in C for Piano and Potato Chips

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Little league world series of poker.

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"Smaller, more powerful chips allow me to have a smaller head."

'I don't like to take chances.'

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

"You were right, I didn't want to stop."

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

Vegetarian Birthdays.

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

'Must you have chips with everything Sir Francis.'

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

'Damn! McGee's good!'

"No, this is 111110100111101111 ... you want 111110100111101101."

"I can count to 20...Without taking off my shoes."

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"And these projections are based solidly on hope, crossed fingers, and fear."

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'Honey, the long-run is here!'

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

Tax Cuts Water the Economy.

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

Statistics department with 'You are here (sampling error +/- 4%)'.

"I guess it's an OK job. Minimum wage plus all you can eat. I tried to quit once but couldn't get out the door."

'Money, money, money, that's the only three things you ever think about.'

'Sir, what's this big once in a lifetime nonnegotiable deduction?'