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Plato's Dialogues & Letterman's Monologues.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

The Old Time Television Channel

Christmas TV...

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges.

"What would you like to watch again?"

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

Night Life: L.A.

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

Tsars in their eyes.

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

John Laurie

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

George Baker

"These are PC to view, providing we laugh in an ironic and non-committal way - belly laughing constitutes a hate crime."

When I was a kid watching "Perry Mason" on tv, I always knew that when I grew up I'd spend a lot of time in courtroom. The only part I had wrong was that I always assumed I would be the defendant. ! !

Lorne Greene

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

'When I was your age, 'classic episodes' were called repeats.'

You probably perfected your ability to mete out justice by watching "Perry Mason" as a kid. Personally, I perfected my ability to lie by watching "Leave It To Beaver."

"Previously on..."

"You've searched every streaming site there is and the best you can come up with is Gilligan's Island?"

"I wish I could give you more on the trade-in, but all that guano really did a number on the paint."

This is a classic TV show called "Father Knows Best." Before Google obviously.

TV dinners: regular and widescreen

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"No, I'm not, no cellphones in high school old. I'm, I fell in love with Betty White in the Golden Girls old."

"Hi, Timmy. It's Lassie. She's stuck in the well again."