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Spike Milligan

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Pre-Television Man Caves

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

Boombox

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

'What TV show do frog princes go on ...?...'

Easy & Hard Listening Rock Radio.

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

Night Life: L.A.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I neglected to talk over you."

"I've seen your latest project and I must say, it really stinks. I mean, it is utterly putrid. It totally reeks."

Talkshow Scheduling Dept. I scheduled a guest how a book advocating a strong military position. You booked a hawk who's hawking a book!

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

'The way I see it, with all the talk shows out there, nobody needs a wife!'

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

"Ray Brown on bass, Elvin Jones on drums, and Alan Greenspan on interest rates."

"This now concludes our broadcast day."

'We've been picking up your radio broadcasts- You must be Fibber McGee and Molly'

the Morning Joe team.

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry. What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance? Simple solution: send your mother to Japan where their entire culture reveres the elderly. Sayonara, grandma!!! Are you sure that's not a just a stereotype? Who cares?!

Sally Jessy Raphael

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

"Your case has been turned down by Oprah, but we're appealing to Sally Jessy Raphael."

"You won't find Miss Miriam Hirschman an easy nut to crack, Mr. Leno."

"And now...here to spew his unique brand of unhinged babble and utter nonsense, let's welcome my guest..."

I think I may have a Jekyll-and-Hyde personality, Dr. Kapuchnik. I'd say you're more like Dr. Demento and Mr. Potato Head, Al.

"Frankly, that sounds like the sort of thing a cat would say.."

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Fed up in Flint," you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java.net Cybercafe. I bought a dirt-cheap house in Flint, hoping to rent it out. I had it renovated, and then the day before our open-house, someone broke in and stole all our plumbing. So what?! In my day, nobody had plumbing! We did our business in a ditch down by the river and we were glad about it! List it as "vintage Americana" and quit yer complainin'! But they took the roof, too. In my day, a roof

Koko and Trump

It's the "Ask Sadie Advice Hour." "Mad in Montauk," you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java .net Cybercafe. My husband and I are getting divorced, and it's gotten bitter and angry. The problem is, we have 43 mutual friends on Facebook, and he's being so unreasonable about which ones are rightly his. You're arguing over custody of your Facebook friends? What the @#$% is wrong with you people?! Obviously, they're all yours. Everyone knows it's usually the woman who created the friendships i

"Our panel today includes Hurley Throod, the opinionated Washington bureau chief; Dennis Wurtner, the lightweight TV commentator; Marsha Boyle, the contentious syndicated columnist; and Sydney H. Hall, the self-styled political expert."

David Letterman