Classic Film Avid T-Shirts

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'He likes to power nap.'

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"I'm the bad guy..."

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Solar Frankenstein

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"You funnin' me, bub?"

Did you ever get that feeling in the moonlight?

Titanic: How's my steering.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"Homes on Holmes"

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

I'm Spartacus.

"How was prom?"