Classic Book Enthusiast Gifts

'Just remember, Facebook is not a book.'

White Whale Brand Grog

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

Louisa May Alcott

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it.

'Turns out the Yahoos didn't invent the search engine.'

Where Ahab's hatred for white animals came from...

"I can't find 'Jude the Obscure'"

'I want some more or I'll locate to another workhouse.'

Nicholas Monsarrat.

Anthony Burgess

Fagin from Oliver Twist

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Victor Hugo

Reading my Critics

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Honoré de Balzac

Papageno from The Magic Flute

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Out To Lurch

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Sock Puppet in Literature

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

Solar Frankenstein

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

Treasure Island Book.

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

To read or not to read?

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."