Class-conscious Diner T-Shirts

For Your Dining Pleasure

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"For drinks or dinner?"

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

Man eating his meal with his feet.

"I'll get the onion soup... it's the only thing on the menu that I don't know why it's bad for me!"

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

I recommend the ketchup.

'It would never work out, Harry -- I'm wine and cheese, and you're beer and pretzels.'

Price and serving size: A guide.

Today's special: Roadkill stew.

'Mutter mutter...I was talking to my broccoli.'

"Hey, how about putting some cheese on this cheeseburger?" "OK, but it'll cost ya."

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

"Two steaks, cruelly raised and brutally slaughtered. Enjoy!"

"Can I pay you after I get my tax refund?"

'Eat it while it's still £6.50.'

Specials Board

'Does this restaurant allow substitutions?'

'Is Sir quite sure he wouldn't prefer a glass?'

'It's half as good as our $10 special.'

"I'll start with the arugula-and-goat-cheese salad, and then I'll have the blackened wolf."

'For some reason- no one knows why - it got a reputation as a power hot dog.'

'Perhaps, Monsieur would perfer a different vintage?'

"Hmmmmm -- Choices, choices..."

'Do you have another menu of what I can have?'

Lunch at the Carlsbad Caverns.