Class Clown Of Finance Gifts

"A preliminary market analysis indicates that money can buy us love at approximately $21.75 a bushel."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Ethics exam cheater.

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

Yearbook

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"It's the new simplified tax demand from HMRC. . . Three Questions - How much did you earn last year? How much have you got left? And how soon can you send it. . .?"

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''