Clam Connoisseur Gifts

"I wouldn't call them bad clams, just menacing."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

Theatre Crowd

"Beds are not made for jumping on."

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

"These kids and their shellfies..."

"Is the salmon fresh?"

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

'And everybody expects me to be happy, which only makes things worse!'

"It turs out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

"It turns out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

'Hey, I've found another one! Let's go and play marbles...'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

Fisherman Funneral

Waiter, there's a potato bug in my New England clam chowder. You should have ordered the Manhattan clam chowder

I can't stop yawning, either. Clams.

Aquarium. New Giant Clam Exhibit. I think we're ready for tomorrow's grand opening!

"The Toast Whisperer"

Clam attack!!!

'Niche market'

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

'Well, I'd say this calls for a toast!'

'We have live bait,dead bait,artifical bait,what they're hitting bait,and bait you can eat if the fish don't.'

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

Oddly familiar formation.

'Hello, my name is Sam. Come to this watering hole very often?'

'Oh yeah? Well I'll see you in small clams court!'

"One coffee and 12 creams."

I say we go check his fishing permit !

'Well, of COURSE we're running away! Do you have any travel packages to sunny Cape Cod?'

'You been sleep walking again?'