Civil Engineer Gifts

A truck salts the road.

"We've decided to add forty floors."

"And nobody noticed the crease in the blueprint?"

'On a clear day you can see the plush neo-classical offices of the bastards who designed these monstrosities.'

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

'Don't worry - all tall buildings sway a little in the wind.'

'Farnsworth, this isn't what I meant when I asked you to draft bridge plans.'

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

'He's a structural engineer.'

'Maybe we should have had a feasibility study for underground parking by the pier.'

Civil engineer "Doesn't look very civil to me"

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

It was hard to put a price on progress. Real hard without a calculator.

Road work next 15 years.

US Infrastructure Deteriorating

Self Serve Road Repair.

Town Planning Department

Road that goes off a cliff with a sign stating "We regret the error".

Speed Bumps.

"Here's my plan. We grow our roots for 30 years until they crack the cement, which dismantles the fence. Then we just push it ove and make a break for it. You in?"

'Excuse me, Sir - I wonder if you'd mind helping me with a survey....?'

"Somebody's screwed up...there's a bit of road here nobody's working on..."

Spring Ahead.

"I told you we needed deeper foundations!"

"No, these are the community's complaints."

House hanging on cliff with 'FILL WANTED' sign.

"The only problem with town planning is having to account for people."

'Goodness, the potholes are deep this year, aren't they?'

The Society of Civil Engineers

Road repair crew in denial ('Personally, I don't see a problem here.')

Road Construction

'Well, treat it again!'

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Hell - Good intentions paving. Apologise for any inconvenience.

Bumps in the road.