Civic Duty Humorist Gifts

'Since I didn't vote for this government, I thought I wouldn't have to pay them taxes.'

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"I'll cross any ocean to fight for our country! I'll travel to the gates of hell to defend our rights!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

"Let me take that for you."

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

Vote Signal

I'm just a pollster, ma'am - I have no idea which candidate is a cat person.

". . . and that's the story of why you should find this defendant. . . GUILTY!"

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

"Nooooo!"

'Yep, I've voted in every election since 1948!' 'Don't be so hard on yourself!'

With Jury Duty for All

"Civic responsibility, ethics, and a dedication to the people we serve; they're killing our business."

Trump in Washington

CONGRESS "Voter apathy is no big deal - What scares me is TAXPAYER apathy."

"All you gotta do is vote for the one you hate the least!"

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

'The stupidity of the defendant's actions was directly proportional to the number of people watching him.'

'Well, it's an idea whose time has come.'

Conflicted Chief

"...Apparently we're responsible for snow removal on that stretch of highway we adopted."

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

"Ladies and gentlemen, we can parse the nuances of motive forever, but isn't it much more satisfying just to deal with broad stereotypes?"

"I had hoped to vote in US elections."

'Tell me why I should excuse you from serving on jury duty. Be careful what you say. I have been trained to read between the lies.'

Campaign Headquarters: For a $500 contribution, the candidate will shake your hand ans sustain eye contact with you for five seconds.

"We were going to adopt a highway, but Rachel thought there would be less red tape if we adopted an overpass."

Can you feel the excitement building? The election is more than a month off. Nonsense!! It's not more than a month off? Yes, technically, in the sense that time is ordinarily measured. But it's so close I can taste it. You can taste the general election? Like chocolate mousse! The season of the political junkie is upon us.