City Sleuth Gifts

New York City Santa with huge bag hails cab.

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

'Madre Mia! Somebody has beaten us to it!'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

The Modern Godot

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

"We do have an opening for a whistleblower, but it's only a temporary position."

'I don't get it, the company's made money, but I don't see any.'

"Just sniff around – see what you can find out."

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

'Sure, I can reprogram your microchip if you want to change your identity...'

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

"After viewing the video footage, it wasn't the dog making the mess, after all..."

"So we figured why explore Mars when, closer to home, there's still so much we don't know about the Petersens."

Business Intelligence Unit.

"Actually those missing four yeas I was working here under a different name."

"We didn't realize the CCTV footage was doctored until our precinct fanboy found a continuity mistake."

"So what can you tell us about this escaped master of disguise, John?"

Trainspotter spotting: 'Gosh! A type 406 with original thermos.'

Suburban Sightseers

'...But in case God misses something...'

Even with the new freedom of information act I can't tell you if that woman at number 28 is really only 76...

House detective.

Fake beggar.

'I am the 'fly on the wall' you speak of. What would you like to know?'

"Why don't you lot concentrate on catching some real criminals? - Like motorists?"