City Skier Gifts

'...and ski conditions will be excellent on city streets today.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'The only problem downtown offices have using solar power is finding a long enough extension cord.'

City Boy.

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

The Streets - Night

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

"Since you're skiing down to the store, we could use a whole lot more steaks."

Skier and his dog.

They've been inseperable since the avalanche.

City Windfarms.

Corporate Whore.

'I remember when all this was fields.'

'It is too snowing!'

"Look, Martha—you contribute, I contribute, we all contribute to the pulse of the city."

Thumbing a Lift.

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

Entering Megalopolis - next Bucolic area 162 miles.

"This city is becoming unlivable."

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

"Can you remember the general shape of our car?"

Skiing at Sea

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

"I was only kidding when I said you have ring around the collar."

"Brian's been pursuing a successful career in the City for 25 years..."

Driver sees road sign: 'Right Lane Doomed'

"My family argues so much over living in the city or country that it makes me feel like pulled pork."

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'