City Scent Curator Gifts

New from New York Candle Co.

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

"A horse by any other mane would small as sweat."

Pheromones.

"Potential buyers of the company are coming through today. Tell everyone to look sharp and put a few bowls of potpourri here and there."

Old Book Smell

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

'It's nice to meet you Otto. Your scent precedes you.'

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"Of course it's not a mirage - mirages don't wear Chanel No 5."

"What pheromone are you using?"

'I say we back off: I can't smell fear at all...'

"Uh-oh,...she smells another dog in my portfolio..."

'I must smell more.'

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

Urban Tsunami

Canal No. 5: Vagrance

'That bacon sarnie fragrance gets them every time!'

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

"I understand he's in aroma therapy.''

'You know it's time to bath the dog when he starts to smell like a gym bag!'

This cologne reminds my husband of our first kiss, years ago in the old copy room. It's eau de mimeograph.

'This one will bring him to his knees. And this one will start the proposal.'

"May I say that's a lovely combination of cyclomethicone, triisostearin, and propylene carbonate you're wearing today, Dr. Thomas!"

"He'll definitely notice this one madam, especially if you leave the receipt where he can find it."

Scientists discovered an immense hole in Siberia. Nobody knows what caused it. Some think global warming melted a huge, gas-filled hill made of ice so fast that is exploded. Let's let them go on thinking that, little buddy. House of Java.net Cybercafe. By the way, if you ever go out to the middle of nowhere to brew your own black market cologne, make sure you don't brew it on a hill made of ice. That does not constitute an admission of anything.