Cinephile Satire Gifts

"If we'd wanted running commentary we would have waited for the DVD."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

What's an Imax cave?

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"Housekeeping?!"

'It was great. I hated it.'

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

Film Star Robert de Niro

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

'Vital mission - movie parody'

"Great idea. Movies are so much better on the big screen."

"Personally, I'm getting sick of sequels."

May I have the envelope, please?

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"I love my luvvie."

'I think I'll wait for the movie.'

'Well, actually my first big break was a slither-on part in 'one was flown into the cuckoo's nest'.'

Jennifer Aniston

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

The Wickerman (Hollywood style)

Marcello Mastroianni.

Daniel Craig caricature

'Cosa vuol significare 'Spaghetti Western'?'

'We are from the planet Condescendia. Take us to your cute little leader.'

Tenafly International Film Festival

Woody Allen

Peter Jackson's Hobbit

Harrison Ford, no question. Tom Selleck, without a doubt. I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." Ford was ok, but his character was less than manly. What are you talking about? That's ridiculous! Harrison Ford was the definition of eighties manliness! You're telling me the "definition of eighties manliness" could run around the world for weeks and months at a time ... and never once grow anything more than a little stubble? I think maybe yo