Satirical Cinephile Gifts

'And now for BEST MOVIE ERODING AMERICA'S MORAL VALUES...'

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

What's an Imax cave?

"Housekeeping?!"

'It was great. I hated it.'

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

Film Star Robert de Niro

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

'Vital mission - movie parody'

"Great idea. Movies are so much better on the big screen."

May I have the envelope, please?

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"Personally, I'm getting sick of sequels."

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"I love my luvvie."

'I think I'll wait for the movie.'

Marcello Mastroianni.

Daniel Craig caricature

Jennifer Aniston

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

'Well, actually my first big break was a slither-on part in 'one was flown into the cuckoo's nest'.'

'We are from the planet Condescendia. Take us to your cute little leader.'

The Wickerman (Hollywood style)

'Cosa vuol significare 'Spaghetti Western'?'

Tenafly International Film Festival

Woody Allen

Biannual relationship conversation, new business. Item one: What kinds of movies should we see going forward. Action thrillers with the bodacious Clint Eastwood. Moralistic British comedies, anything starring or produced by Al Gore! Eastwood! Natalie Portman! What?! it's platonic! Eastwood. Whatever you want. Gimme your bullhorn. It's spankin' time.