Cinema Scholar T-Shirts

"Yes! This is 'Understanding Film Noir', and, yes ! I am Dr. Behan. Now will you please shut the door!"

"I'm curious. Who did murder me?"

"Are the Hairless bods historically accurate?"

"Harrison Ford, no question." "Tom Selleck, without a doubt." "I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better 'Indiana Jones'." "Ford was OK, but his character was less than manly." "What are you talking about? That's ridiculous! Harrison Ford was the definition of eighties manliness!" "You're telling me the 'definition of eighties manliness' could run around the world for weeks and months at a time... and never once grow anything more than a little stubb

Martin Scorsese

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Herman Mankiewicz

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Horror movies

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Fifteen

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

"Bloody hell!"

'There's nothing on.'

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"Hugh fans!"

"Housekeeping?!"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

What's an Imax cave?

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"The Eggsorcist"

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'