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Goldilocks at Sundance.

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

Giant Monsters At The Water Cooler

Welcome to Hollywood

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

'I'm prescribing a ticket for a feel-good movie of the year.'

"It's always 'Get me a Godzilla type,' never 'Get me Godzilla!'"

'I need enough for popcorn and a movie.'

'-and where are the CAMERAS I asked for?'

'Product placement is getting so obtrusive.'

"I'm not sure if the audience is ready to embrace you in a romantic comedy."

"Look, I love the city, too, but wouldn't it be cheaper to shoot this in Canada?"

'Queen Kong' Gay and Proud

'I do hate it when they squeeze the end credits like this!'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

A movie director shouting through bullhorn.

Hooray for Bollywood!

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"They're subtitles dear, you don't have to text a reply."

"Where's that damn 'escape' key?"

"This one's just like being at a real theatre."

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

'... But of course, if there's something more interesting outside.'

"Play it, Sam."

'We have the ideas for product placement and now all we need is the script.'

"We've got to talk - let's go to a movie."

'What kind of man are you, Steve?! Turn around and demand that he remove his feet from the back of my seat this instant!'

"Look! I see an abbreviated version of Disney's Bambi."

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

'Reviewers say it has ups and downs...'

"Bloody hell!"

"I knew this was coming when they introduced computer-generated ticket sales."

'It means, like, stop filming...'

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

'Whoa! Who writes your stuff -- Mel Gibson?'