Cigarette Companion Pillows

'I don't WANT to be flagpole sitting. It's the only place they let me smoke!'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Hush puppy.

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

A man and his dog

"I'm working from home today."

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

Dogs

Wagging Dog

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

'You're not supposed to catch them!'