Cigarette Collector Pillows

'Don't look now, but there's my former flame.'

"Would you like to go to my place for a cigarette?"

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"Health warnings and plain packaging are a waste of money... do they think we're stupid?!"

Watch it! My cigarettes are worth killing for.

'Smoking section, please.'

'I'd like some Barlmoro Red, Filtered, Extra-Special, Ultra-Light, Super-Long, Super-Slim, King-100 Mild, Full-Flavor Blend Cigarettes.' 'Box, or soft-pack?' 'I don't care.'

'You've been at Malcolm's again, haven't you - you know I hate tertiary smoking!'

"Fred's been murdered..!!!

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Punt Cake

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

CASA DE JOY PREMIUM TEQUILA STONE BISSETT DISTILLERY CONT. NET.1000 ML 40% ALC Vol.

"Number 2. Step forward please."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

The concert was going smoothly until Frankenstein's band played a ballad.

Bottletrees.

Relaxing in front of a fire.

"Pass that."

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

"Hoarder."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Your shout!"

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'This cork idea of yours is great! How do you get it out?'

"I wonder what this was for."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."