Collecting Cigarette Packs Pillows

"I'll have 20 'Causes strokes and disability' and 20 'Can lead to impotence.'"

(Visual gag) Wellard's annual BIG HANDBAG SALE!! A woman is dragging a huge bag out from a bag shop

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

"I'm part of the problem and loving it!"

'Me, I'm home-schooled: Getting to and from school was taking too much of my time...'

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

Proceedings of the club

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

José Saramago

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

Storm chaser van with satellite dish and Storm in a teacup chaser van with cup & spoon.

'This reminds me of something funny. Remember the day I was shopping in that china shop and suddenly sneezed?'

"With the return of cigars and martinis could war have been far behind?"

Common stock, Preferred stock, Private stock.

"Try getting life insurance when scientists are always supplying you with tobacco."

'No I haven't got a light, shove off!'

"It's a brand name. Honestly, we have nothing to do with Q."

'Smoking section, please.'

Nigel Farage

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we're not wine coolers."

'I gave up smoking, drinking and sex...It was the worst fifteen minutes of my life.'

"No cause for alarm, we're just the voices in your head on a ciggy break."

"I'm addicted to online shoppin. It's so bad that I have a hallway full of unopened parcels."

"And no matter how many times they got it redelivered they were never home to receive the package."

Man on desert island asks for a lighter rather than a rescue.

"Look! A camel!"

'Hey, pal - got a light?'

Obama and Cuba

Man going out for a cigarette from a lighthouse.

"Oh, go on. Let them have a go at shooting the cigarette out of your mouth... I mean, it's not like it'll matter if they miss and accidentally hit you."

Yes, I always keep a good cigar. Why don't you smoke 'em?