Churchgoer Undercover Napper Pillows

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

United Church of OMG

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

'I'm interested in being born again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.'

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

Out for lunch... GOD

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

'How come I never see you in church?'

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

Man waiting to receive communion drinks soda

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

'I always thought that church mouse thing was just a figure of speech.'

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

'Only way I can get people in on a Sunday.'

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

'We worship the deity formally known as God.'

'With all the cars driven by little old ladies only to church on Sunday, you'd think the church would be completely full of little old ladies.'

'Your wife came by and left a message'