Churchgoer Undercover Napper Pillows

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

United Church of OMG

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

Out for lunch... GOD

'I'm interested in being born again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.'

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

Speaking words of wisdom, letter B

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

At Michawl Phelps' baptism.

'How come I never see you in church?'

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

Man waiting to receive communion drinks soda

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

Confessional bathroom

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

'I always thought that church mouse thing was just a figure of speech.'

'Only way I can get people in on a Sunday.'

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

'We worship the deity formally known as God.'

'Your wife came by and left a message'