Churches Gifts

The bells!

Cathedral Made Safe.

Ding Dong.

"As an ex-priest, I'm having a hard time adjusting to these non-cathedral ceilings."

Cathedral with a sermon on separation of the Church and architecture.

'Finial, spire, roof...agnostic'

Playing Ball in front of the Church Windows.

'Aluminum siding' at church.

The hunchbunny of Notre Hutch

Let's pull together.

'I guess it's OK - provided he keeps the vow of silence.'

Arrow Church

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"Freshly ground pepper?"

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'Let us pray...'

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"