Church Service Aficionado Pillows

'Service Lift.'

Hymns - Optional Extras

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"That's our new church mascot."

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'I'd like to attract them with dynamic preaching, but I'm not above luring them with sugar.'

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

Vicar

Pope Francis

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

Heavenly voices.

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

Kid to pastor: 'Doesn't Jesus worry about approval ratings?'

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

A group of women concerned about a priest climbing a ladder

"Oh, hi Pastor, I figured I didn't need to go to church - I ALREADY felt guilty."

Yeah? Well my father's better at prayers

Peter makes another attempt to go to Jesus.

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish and you will never see him in church on Sunday again."

"Say-y-y, this stuff could be made into a terrific mini-series."

Please follow safe worship practices.