Church Choir Enthusiast Gifts

Man blows his nose in church and a child asks if it is the organ

'For you information, hymns are meant to be sung, not whistled.'

"If she has the voice of an angel I sure hope the others drown her out."

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Hildegard von Bingen

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

"That's our new church mascot."

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

R.C.I.A.

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

God is for life not just for Christmas.

The Dog Choir

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

Ventriloquist Audition

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

"...And you will serve two years in a male voice choir as a baritone!"

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

'He's is in a bad mood tonight!'

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

'We're donating our organist to science.'

"Sopranos", "Tenors", "Basses"

"You don't need a doctor to look at your throat, you need a CHOIRPRACTOR."

Pope Francis

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

Keyboard in Front of a Organ

Vicar

"I am sorry. I'm going to have to let you go. You just can't seem to learn the words."