Chronology Challenger Gifts

"I must have completely lost track of time."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

Lawnmower

Mental Health System Breakdown

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

Police Shootings: Searching for justice

'Oh, sure -- You want me to waste my valuable time helping you extinguish your ego'

Capitalism

'Why do it the easy way when you can do it the right way?'

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

'I've gotten over my fear of tests, but now I seem to have developed studying anxiety.'

"It's funny. . . I know it's the renaissance, but I keep writing dark ages on my checks!"

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

Selling Justice

Suicide Is a Rude Way to Interfere With Society Murdering You

"So, Mrs. Miller, would you tell me briefly your methods for teaching reading, your overall philosophy of education, your views on testing, your ideas on discipline, your opinions about homework, the ways you could excite kids about science, and how you would upgrade math skills in our school should you be hired?"

Spring cleaning.

Fred N. Smith: Bureaucrat, Public Servant, Whistle-Blower.

Joe's Bar: Your money back if you think you're man enough!

I don't like the looks of this next level.

"I'll check the minutes of the last meeting, but I've got 'September Revolution' pencilled in."

'What's going on here? What you see is what I get, and what I see is what you get.'

'The numbers don't look quite so bad along with the hard liquor.'

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

New claims that GPs health damaged by government bureaucracy.