Chronicler Of Campaigns Pillows

'I've got compassionate Conservatism fatigue.'

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

National Everything Awareness Day

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'Can you fetch all of these but leave these others alone?'

Elections in the USA

Pollster

The Clinton Campaign, post-mid-September

'I want my ideas called 'concepts' not 'notions'.'

'Oh, we could reduce the deficit, but it'd just leave stretch marks.'

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

Tony Blair

'Remember when the worry was over little swift boat attacks?'

'More pictures of your kids. Wow, they've really grown since yesterday.'

Campaign Donations

Cruz and Fiorina: DetesTED and DetestETTE

Vote. The candidates are a lot like us --- they have programmed answers for the FAQ's.

'It's not my job to worry about the 47% of Americans who are irresponsible. Wait I didn't state that very elegantly. It's not my job to worry about the 47% of Americans who are irresponsible.'

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

'It's my job to teach you to grin like ike, and damnit, you will grin like ike!'

Vote GOP: 'Lowering taxes for the rich creates jobs, in the huge demand for security guards!'

"If reelected, this time, I promise not to procrastinate for four years and then try to get all my governing done in one epic all-nighter."

VOTE!, 'If elected, I'll sponsor legislation for a $10 billion study of Government hypocrisy!'

VOTE!, 'If elected, I'll sponsor legislation for a $10 billion study of Government hypocrisy!'

"The last thing that I intend to do is to stand here making a display of my patriotism."

Stephen Harper on the attack ads.

'Wow! Can't you just feel the safe-ness!'

'The press is calling you overconfident. Stop using ‘Hail To The Chief' as your ringtone.'

'When I took the special-interest money, it didn't seem all that special.'

"We all know the Senator's position regarding term limits."

'I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message.'