Chronic Escapist Gifts

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Rising Gas Prices

Last Chance For Reality

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

Try out this summer's hot novels in a beach setting

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

Kissing Hands

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"Not now, Elaine—I'm on my man-cloud."

Zoo Employees

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

"You know what you're running here, Lou? You're running a haven, that's what you're running here, Lou."

Message in a bottle.

Dangerous tax audits.

"With this invention...I can finally go to a time where everyday nuisances have been completely eradicated!"

"Hon, I feel like riding out into big-sky country."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Free Thinking.

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

"We outsourced our joyless TV dinners to a delightful couple from next door."

Virtual Reality Check

ARchie Smith cartoonist

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

'Actually, I just came up here to get away from leading economic indicators for a while.'

"The floor is any human contact."

Black belts in the ancient art of avoidance