Christmas Stocking Aficionado Gifts

'How come you always get more in your Christmas stocking than I do?'

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

Bug hanging up stockings

'It doesn't take much to please him these days.'

A centipede's Christmas stockings

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

'You were hot in bed last night.' 'I know, I should have taken my socks off.'

Christmas Cow.

'You should have used contraceptives -- I'm afraid your lucky socks didn't work.'

"Tammy's Style Shop went on a selling spree."

Eskimo putting fake snow on his Christmas tree

Adrenaline is flowing down there with lots of last-minute, panicked Christmas shoppers! The DNA is frantically looking for heirlooms that'll be passed on in succeeding generations. It seems no price is too high for the helium atom - it's buying everything! Meanwhile, the neutron can't charge and hasn't been able to buy a single gift! Tempers are getting short! A big nerve angered other shoppers by blatantly cutting in the checkout line! And there's a quarrel over a parking spot with a whit

A bit pre festive isn't it?

Creative Stinking 101 - 'Stinking outside the Sox.'

'Oh, Boy! Swine flu vaccine!'

"Whatever you do don't get onto the topic of his wacky socks."

'I swear officer: I had just stopped to pull up my socks when the weasel went 'pop'...'

DadMomSisBrother Stockings. Brother's has a hole in the toe.

The festive season brings it's own interesting little chores...and well earned rewards.

Menswear shop.

'I ran out of money in the south of France, so I decided to come home.' ~ The Prodigal Sock.

'I thought you said 36 inch neck and 16 inch sleeve.'

“If I buy this sweater, we’ll also have to buy a rustic little place upstate.”

Sock monkey reading magazine about sock

'Couldn't you spend just one Christmas at home?'

"You're free to go. Please exit through the gift shop."

'I need this year's fashion, please.' - 'Trouble is, sir, you have last year's body.'

"When it comes to turkeys, Grandma, you sure know your stuffing."

I like wearing cargo pants. But they make me feel like a junk drawer.

"And you can download a further selection of our songs at www.carolsingers.com..."

Santa Claus Hanging in Stocking

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"