Christmas Shopping Pillows

How the gift registry should really work

Idiots!

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

'Only 4 minutes to Christmas'

'I hope you like it. I got the last one. . . Pepper spray. I had to fight off an older couple for it. They went down like a sack of dirt.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

The First Christmas Sale Race.

30% off all Xmas trees.

"It'll be more interesting if we buy gifts after having more to drink."

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 3

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"Mom said to watch you if you were shopping online."

'Do you think it's too early for Christmas shopping?'

"You don't know anything about electronics, do you?"

Human Cull: People who tell you they finished their Christmas shopping in October.

"When do we get to the part where we figure out how many shopping days left until Christmas?"

"Shopping list? No, Christmas list."

'I don't want Andrea to think I just clocked a button.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Killer Executive Suits.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.