Christmas Myth Lovers Gifts

'So you were born in a manger. This is a primitive area. I was born in a chicken coop.'

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

Pole dancers

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

'I ran as fast as I could, but I still couldn't catch the Gingerbread Man...'

Santa and reindeer in line with shadows

'My brother got all the glory. For me it was Randolph with your nose so pink, you really make my sleigh team stink.'

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

It happened on Christmas Eve

"I'm all over the Internet, so why hide? I might as well come out and enjoy myself."

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

"There's always someone who goes over the top with their rooftop decorations."

'Don't forget your thermos.'

T'was the night before the night before Christmas.

"I hate recalls."

Ebeneezer Scrooge says to clerk: 'You can't have more coal for the fire, Mr Cratchit ??" this firm is committed to reducing its carbon emissions.'

Santa's elevator

Stork Swinging Baby.

Santa '50s' Claus.

Santa Romance

"I'm sorry, Rudolph, but empathetic soulsource crystal navigation has made that nose of yours pretty much obsolete."

Ten Seconds with Santa Claus: 'I think this will be my last year delivering presents...'

"Mrs. Santa Claus wants a divorce, the elves in my workshop is on strike, the reindeer just hate me and global warming makes my place in the North Pole melt!"

"Shopping for days - spending a fortune and they're playing with the boxes the toys came in."

A drone carries a baby like a stork.

Santa Clops

"Perform the nutcracker for you for five dollars?"

"I was hoping for something more Instagrammable."

Santa slipping on the ice.

'Right, that's the last time you lot watch Lord of the Rings!'

'Sorry we're late, we lost three days following one of those Chinese lanterns.'

Mrs. Clause's Christmas present.

'Do you have any idea how big I am online?'