Christmas Humor Afi Pillows

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'HO,HO,HO,WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS??!!'

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

"Maybe this year..."

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

Santa Claus and the Snowman Cross Paths

'I mind my mother, and I do my lessons, and I'm here for the quid pro quo.'

Hip hop Santa.

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

A group of ladies fearful to leave their cab as the cabman has mistletoe on his hat

'Look! There's Santa!'

It was brighter than most, and Biggins allowed himself a quiet smile as he contemplated the immense speeds involved as it burned itself up in the atmosphere...

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

'Didn't I warn you not to have the vindaloo?'