Christmas Critiquer Pillows

"Well, if you want Santa to visit, you'll have to widen the chomney by 12.4 centimetres, install non-slip roof tiles, build a landing platform and provide organic food and toilet facilities for his reindeer..."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

'Where were the wise women?'

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

Father Christmas deciding whether the Tory Party are naughty or nice.

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

Santa's elevator

Grade 'A' Grass.

'About this patriarchal middle-class morality of yours....'

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

'Despite what they sing, I don't think Christmas is really the season to be jolly...'

'We've been outsourced to an Indian cool centre.'

"Just another silly programme this Christmas."

Christmas carol: 'Blow your budget stuff your trolley, tr-la-la-la-laaa-la-la-la-la...'

"And this is where the magic happens."

Today, Human Rights Watch sued a man named Santa Claus for discrimination against his employees by calling them 'dwarfs'.

'Do you ever wonder where elves come from?'

"You know I don't celebrate Valentines."

"My lawyer will present my case that I was definitely 'nice'."

Santa Sucks

"First, I'll need to see an audited statement of revenue and expenses."

Baaa...humbug.

Extended warranty on the sales guy.

'Tell us how the big guy really finances this free toy give away scam and we might be willing to cut you a deal.'

"I'm away one night and you're shaking up with teh foreman packer!"

Spama Claus.

Two Boys Dressed As Gentlemen.

Lighting of the President-Elect

Wallowing in elf pity...