Christianity Buffs Pillows

Fishes and Loaves

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"OMG, LOL!"

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Are we there yet?'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

Dogma

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Look man, no wings!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Bible Bloopers

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

Caption Contest TK

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

'Even More Disciples'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'