Chore Strategist Pillows

"Will Durant and his wife wrote the story of civilization together, and I can't even get you to sign a few measly Christmas cards

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Lawnmower

Family working together

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

'But you said to clean my room.'

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

Fashion Update Dryer Sheets

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

'I took her last time - It's your turn to take her for a walk!'

"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'

"Hey, the last thing I want to do is annoy you. That's actually ninth on my to-do list."

"The last time we ordered take-out I was up all night doing laundry."

"I woke up early, took a shower, got dressed for work then remembered I don't work today."

Sue believed that one day she would find her soul mate - and her missing sock.

Dad’s Homework Assignment

Dating Agency: "I am looking for a man whose hobbies are, washing up, dusting and ironing."

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

Cat Chores

"Honest Dad, I was going to mow the lawn... But I can't find the lawnmower in here!"

Spring cleaning.