Chore Eschewer Gifts

'I'm tired of cleaning the erasers, Mrs. Myers -- can I debug the educational software instead?'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Lawnmower

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'But you said to clean my room.'

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

The four housemen of procrastination

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

A genie helps a man fold laundry.

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

The Sedentary Dead.

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

"It's your turn to shovel the perch."

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

'His electric toothbrush has gone wrong - mind you, he could use the extra exercise.'

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."