Chore Delegator Gifts

"Oh, there's your problem—twenty years of resentment at having to do the dishes."

"I'm training him to do chores."

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

Lawnmower

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

'I took her last time - It's your turn to take her for a walk!'

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

Dad’s Homework Assignment

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

"Hola...I was wondering if you need your lawn mowed."

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

"This looks like a job for ... someone else."

'Perhaps this graph will help you appreciate the jagged mountain range I climbed on my vacation.'

Spring cleaning.

A man walks with a dog who has learnt to scoop his own poop.

'Unfortunately, Mr.Beckons, your son Dean is very allergic to grass. . .'

"Well, I've noticed someone always finds time for the 'odd jobs' around here he wants to do!"

"Here's a list of errands to do for me when you take your personal day tomorrow."

"This is when we will involve Procurement so they can do the boring stuff for us..."

"Who made this mess?"

"Judging by all the dishes, you have forgotten where the kitchen is. So, I programmed this GPS for you."

Stroll a Kid: $10 One Hour, $6 1/2 Hour.

A housewife is looking at her dishwasher; the door is open, and looks like a drawbridge - men on horseback are emerging.

"How about all my desserts for a week, and I take out the garbage?"

"Let's do something really different and daring tonight to stimulate our marriage... Tonight I'll wash and you dry!"

"Your boss asked our boss to have our people talk with your people."

'Why do you never change these things out when they're empty? They're not an infinite scroll.'

"What a day. The man I pass the buck to was off sick."

"Carol - Find me a wife ...send her a valentines card..."

'Did I forget to put out the garbage, dear?'