Cholesterol Critics Pillows

'Go to the butcher and have him send the large goose which has enough cholesterol to do them all in,to the Cratchits.'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Good Cholesterol.

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"Everywhere you look, there's a rate hike."

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

'We believe it was at THIS point that the species became extinct.'

'Well, kids, I guess it all started with decaffeinated coffee....'

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

'I like this new alcohol labelling.'

'You're too fussy - the coffee isn't THAT bad!'

Fresh Fish

Health Foods

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

And this is one we made earlier.

'Now that's more like it.'

"IT's a radical new diet I'm developing. I knock out all your teeth so you can't eat and therefore you lose weight."

"I can grant you any wish you desire except for making sure the ice cream machine always works at McDonald's."

'My doctor says I need more good cholesterol. I think this sausage is as good as it gets.'

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

"The fog is thick, but so tender you can cut it with a fork."

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