Chit-chat Challengers T-Shirts

"You look like you haven't lost weight."

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

Now showing - "What's the least noisy film we can chat through?"

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

Nil by text - "Don't worry, Mr. Smith, we will soon cure your addiction."

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

"Let's just do the top layer."

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"I'm feeling generous."

'This beer is pale and tasteless.' 'Your glass is empty.'

"My ship didn't sink. I swam here from New Jersey to get into The Guinness Book of World Records."

'I just got off the phone with my long-time writing partner who's bringing over my deathbed confessional masterpiece. In the meantime, who's up for some idle chit-chat? How about all this rain we've been getting, huh?!"

'With three teenage daughters the phone never rings twice in this house!'

Dadonomics

'Could this mean that we're finally profitable?'

Small Talk Outlet

I'll go first. this is so stupid. Just try it. Fine. Go first. Commencing text. Beep, No problem. I can do this. Take it. One second. Oh, no. It's coming on. Two seconds … It burns! Give me my phone. U R addict. Still, three seconds. A personal record.

"Where do you see this country in five years?"

'I booze, I schmooze and then I snooze.'

"This call is monitored for quality. Try to keep up your end of the conversation."

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

Airport Literature

"I'm good thanks."

"You're not holding up your end of the conversation."

'I see you everyday and never talk to you. But I'm making an effort to change for the better, so I won't be standing here tomorrow.'

'You'll never win that contest -- you've never said anything in fifty words or less.'

'How's it going with me? Oh, you know, still dealing with the same old shit.'

Online chat

"Quick, let me through. I'm a gossip."

'What do you call two fat people having a chat?'

'Why do we always talk about this stuff?'

Noticeboard with 'latest scandal and rumour update'