Chiropterologist Gifts

"You have white nose syndrome."

"Got some bats in your hair, huh? That's a bummer. You'll never get out now."

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

Broomstick crash.

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"I stand corrected."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

"Stacked coffee cups look like a spine. This is why the more coffee you drink, the easier it is to stand up and keep yourself awake."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Egyptian chiropractor.

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"Well, you may not have the body of an athlete, but you certainly have the foot of one."

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

"It's just a hunch, but you spend a lot time at your computer, don't you?"

'While doing the ' Hoxey-Pokey' I put my right hip in...I put my right hip out, and rhat's where it stayed!'

Joint Ventures!

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

"Do you know a good chiropractor?"

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

"Whiplash..."

'You said I should check back with you if I didn't get any better. . .'

Dog on a plane.

"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."

Back in a snap (chiropractor).

'I wasn't drowning, I was waving!'

Helicopter tour guide: 'And THERE they are folks! The mysterious ancient stone figures of Easter Island!'