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"My goodness, your back is really knotted up this morning, isn't it?"

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Musical Web

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

Psychiatry. I got in touch with my inner child, and now I'm going broke buying video games!

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

Interpretive napping

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

"Apparently you're a bi-polar bear."

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

"There's only so much bat-mansplaining a girl can take."

This is called "The Ballad of a Self-Taught Guitarist."

Tell me about the voices in your head, Al. On the one hand, they tell me to do horrible things. On the other hand, they sing the sweetest harmonies since the Mills Brothers.

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Congerto Number One, first movement."

Musician's Fishing Trip

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

'I don't know, doc. I'm okay. It's just that I don't feel as happy as a clam.'

"No, not us. Do something every day that scares you."

'I suffer from depression too Ms Frost. Sometimes I'm not even motivated to get out of bed!'

'The pain in my head always seems to subside when I flush your bills down the toilet!'

"It's true. Your mother is a great oak, but she, too, used to be a little nut."

"My lifestyle is empty and meaningless."

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.