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"And now for this week's episode of, 'The fallen Arches'."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"Well, you may not have the body of an athlete, but you certainly have the foot of one."

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

'You've got lot toe!'

'This is Citroen Picasso's cubist period.'

Pizza Delivery Delays

Joint Replacement Specialist has 3 boxes on desk: "Hip", "Hip", "Hooray."

'You are pigeon toed.'

Octopus gets tickled pink

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

George Michael at the chiropodist

"I have an on-call podiatrist."

'A pint of beer and a mop please, barman !'

The first reported sighting of Bigfoot's podiatrist.

'When you said you are a hammer-toe specialist . . .'

Chiropodist is wearing a gas mask while treating a client.

'That will be $600, thank you...'

Liposuction: Help Wanted.

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

'From the hobble you describe, I'd say you're not wearing the right walking shoe.'

Jake played with a dead man's hand

'Give me a beer, luv. . . Yeah, a mop.'

Sure you can twitter, but can you chirp, warble and trill?

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

"Are you listening to me?"

'I don't see the problem.'

Surreal Weather

"You're all arms Rodney."

"Goodness me! Diane, we're going to need the angle grinder again..."