Chintz Enthusiast Gifts

"Now, in here, with our buff walls and aubergine chintz, our statement has dropped to a purr."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Just be yourself."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

Theatre Crowd

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

Business is off the chart.

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Soaring Profits

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Gloat

"Listen! They're playing our bong."

"Have you been throwing a lot of poop lately?"

'This chart shows how much time we waste every day looking at charts.'

Bashful in Nashville

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

Out.

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

'And this is after the creation of a Special Effects Department.'