Conch Enthusiast Gifts

Spam Shells

"Hey! Is that a tiny speaker making ocean noises, and a little camera?"

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

Binge Watch

"Goal!"

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Dog Walker

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

East End Maps.

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

Shaved Ice

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

"I see a couch."

E-Z Livin'

"He tried living in the fast lane, but he didn't like it, so now he just sleeps all day."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

Staycation Photos

"I'm sorry, sir, but Professor Dornley does not wish to be distracted for the duration of the winter."

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

"What don't you understand? When my clients fly their guests over your farm on the way to Vegas, they'd like to see the words 'Mazel tov, Josh' spelled out in your cornfield."

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'The best part about working from home is NOT working from home.'

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

'My ultimate ambition is a large pond.'