Chimpanzees Pillows

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

A Vet's Fight with a Chimpanzee

'Here comes that fly-by-night.'

Pilot with champagne.

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Too much monkey business...

"Have you been throwing a lot of poop lately?"

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

'Stop evolving and come in. Your dinner's ready.'

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

'I hear you're typing the complete wors of Shakespeare?'

"She's pretty smart. She already knows enough to spit out vegetables."

'Sir, it's those monkeys we sent into space in 1959... They're back!'

'This is not what I expected when you said we were going to help an endangered species...'

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

"Don't make us warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"I don't feel so much endangered as I do under funded."

'That's what we evolved from.'

"Now we'll be able to understand political debates."

'Chameleons?.. Yes, we do sell them, if you can find them.'

'Coffee, tea, or banana?'

'So...1% of our DNA says you're in a suit, while I'm sitting around with no clothes on piking stuff with sticks.'

'We're doing so well together: What do you think of me becoming monogamous?'

"I'm here researching a role. I'm about to play a Senator."

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'

'Not bad for a computer, but the chimpanzee's work had more feeling.'

'It was just here! Ugh...I bet it threw our dinner again.'

'Say it like you MEAN it!'

The advent of profanity: Noah to 3 monkeys: 'Only pairs are allowed on my ark, so one of you has to go!'

"Peer review is getting tougher and tougher."